Prince of Persia - My thoughts, let me show you it.
As with any gossip column, this piece of news hardly has any weight to it. Zac Efron and Orlando Bloom are battling it out for the lead role in the Prince of Persia movie. There are other rumours that a real Persian prince is wedging himself in there, but I won’t get into that.
Prince of Persia is an action-adventure video game series, beginning in 1989, and became hugely popular when Sands of Time was released in 2003. This resulted in a trilogy following along this particular storyline, with Warrior Within and The Two Thrones released in 2004 and 2005 respectively. The plot went along the lines of an hourglass that could control time, and the prince - through circumstances out of his control - managed to control this power, therefore controlling time. The story follows the prince’s journey to 1. stop the bad guy from taking control over the sands of time, 2. stop his own death, 3. … stop the bad guy from taking control over the sands of time.
The lead character, only known as ‘the prince’, was an extremely wonderful character to play as. He was funny (very much unlike the usual steroid-infused protagonists on games nowadays), witty, realistic and sympathetic. Throughout the game, you’d be able to hear his inner monologue, and it was just hilarious to listen to (except in Warrior Within, where apparently the production designers decided that he didn’t have big enough balls). I loved the character of the prince, and yes, I’m a huge fan of the Prince of Persia series.
Disney has purchased the rights to PoP, and… well, I feel rather conflicted about this. Any gaming fan knows that the majority of movies based on games have been utter disasters (see Hitman, Tomb Raider, Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within), and the probability that PoP’s going to fall into ‘a big waste of money’ is going to be very high. The addition of either Efron or Bloom as the title role just summed my feelings up into a massive DO NOT WANT.
Here we have typecasting working against Efron. Zac’s been cast in overtly bubbly, my-butt-vomits-sunshine type of movies. Sticking him into a movie where he’s supposed to fight bigass sand monsters (and presumably his father) is not going to go well. Frankly, he looks like his ass could get pummeled in about 5 minutes. Maybe his LAZEREYES will smite his enemies to death, I don’t know.
Orlando Bloom seems to be the more obvious choice, with him having a great load of fighting experience, but I have to remind you that almost all of his successful films cast him as a supporting actor. The movie where he was lead actor generated only a lukewarm response and was a box office failure. I’ve always been of the opinion that Orlando’s not a very good actor either (he can’t work a closeup, have you noticed? Watch Pirates of the Caribbean again) but his prettyboy status and physique will certainly draw the girls to the movie.
I’m not expecting much for Prince of Persia, even if it is a Jerry Bruckheimer/Disney production. I guess I’ll just stick to replaying the game and listening to the awesome voice that is Yuri Lowenthal.
Going based on career history alone, Orlando Bloom is far more suited to the role than Zac “I Want to Vomit Just Looking at Him” Efron.
Either way it doesn’t bode well for the movie.
What the hell is up with the video-game-cum-movie trend?